See That Crazed Look In Her Eyes...?
With Every Passing Day, The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend Analogy Becomes More And
More Appropriate
By DanTex
Or, for the PC police, you can make that the psycho-ex-significant-other analogy.
Everyday I turn on the news, cringing about what kind of crazy-ass shit she's gonna pull next. Just a few weeks ago, this maneuver with the DNC meeting on May 31 was called the "nuclear option". As in "you'd really have to be a desperate nutcase to try this".
And then we have the threats. If we don't accept Hillary as our nominee, we'll lose in November. Women won't come out and vote. Her fundraisers won't help out. She'll campaign halfheartedly. It's Hillary or nobody. Life doesn't go on without her.
Yesterday in Florida she made her little tantrum into some huge historical battle of right against wrong. As if Hillary trying to change the rules of the Democratic primary is somehow comparable to the abolitionists and women's suffrage movements. Uh, no Hillary, the fact that you didn't get what you wanted doesn't make you Harriet Tubman.
And the whining. It's SO NOT FAIR. Everyone is always so MEAN to me. What do you mean it's OVER? Just ONE MORE CHANCE. Who cares about the SILLY RULES. You know, if we used the REPUBLICAN RULES, I would be the nominee. So how about we just start from scratch and pretend this whole thing never happened?
There's the "reasoning". How can you possibly like Obama better? He's just an inexperienced smooth-talking pretty-boy. It'll never work with you and him. Your racist great uncle will NEVER accept him. Its ME AND YOU, DEMS, ME AND YOU FOREVER!
And some days she turns back to "nice Hillary". Reminding us of the good times we had together back in the 90s (never mind that Iraq war thing). Praising Obama, saying we have so much in common. And then the very next day she's back to yelling "shame on you" and saying that McCain is more qualified to be commander-in-chief.
I mean, we think you're great Hillary. We really do. That's why we liked you so much before this whole mess. We're a little pissed off right now because you've spent the last month trying to destroy the Democratic party. But we'll probably forgive you someday, provided you don't do anything really destructive.
But you need to move on. Go on vacation somewhere. You have a bright future. Put all of this energy to good use. Once a little time has passed, and the emotions have cooled a bit, we'll hang out again. And who knows, 8 years from now, never say never... But right now, Obama's our nominee.
So listen. Give us back our spare apartment keys. If not, we're just going to get the locks changed anyway. It's more of a hassle, but it's not going to change anything, and it makes you look childish. Yes, you can keep our "Wedding Singer" DVD. In fact, you can have our whole DVD collection. That's fine. Just leave us alone.
Editor's Note: Since this piece was written, Hillary Clinton has invoked the RFK assassination that happened in June 1968, in defense of her decision to remain in the presidential race. Psycho...
By DanTex
Or, for the PC police, you can make that the psycho-ex-significant-other analogy.
Everyday I turn on the news, cringing about what kind of crazy-ass shit she's gonna pull next. Just a few weeks ago, this maneuver with the DNC meeting on May 31 was called the "nuclear option". As in "you'd really have to be a desperate nutcase to try this".
And then we have the threats. If we don't accept Hillary as our nominee, we'll lose in November. Women won't come out and vote. Her fundraisers won't help out. She'll campaign halfheartedly. It's Hillary or nobody. Life doesn't go on without her.
Yesterday in Florida she made her little tantrum into some huge historical battle of right against wrong. As if Hillary trying to change the rules of the Democratic primary is somehow comparable to the abolitionists and women's suffrage movements. Uh, no Hillary, the fact that you didn't get what you wanted doesn't make you Harriet Tubman.
And the whining. It's SO NOT FAIR. Everyone is always so MEAN to me. What do you mean it's OVER? Just ONE MORE CHANCE. Who cares about the SILLY RULES. You know, if we used the REPUBLICAN RULES, I would be the nominee. So how about we just start from scratch and pretend this whole thing never happened?
There's the "reasoning". How can you possibly like Obama better? He's just an inexperienced smooth-talking pretty-boy. It'll never work with you and him. Your racist great uncle will NEVER accept him. Its ME AND YOU, DEMS, ME AND YOU FOREVER!
And some days she turns back to "nice Hillary". Reminding us of the good times we had together back in the 90s (never mind that Iraq war thing). Praising Obama, saying we have so much in common. And then the very next day she's back to yelling "shame on you" and saying that McCain is more qualified to be commander-in-chief.
I mean, we think you're great Hillary. We really do. That's why we liked you so much before this whole mess. We're a little pissed off right now because you've spent the last month trying to destroy the Democratic party. But we'll probably forgive you someday, provided you don't do anything really destructive.
But you need to move on. Go on vacation somewhere. You have a bright future. Put all of this energy to good use. Once a little time has passed, and the emotions have cooled a bit, we'll hang out again. And who knows, 8 years from now, never say never... But right now, Obama's our nominee.
So listen. Give us back our spare apartment keys. If not, we're just going to get the locks changed anyway. It's more of a hassle, but it's not going to change anything, and it makes you look childish. Yes, you can keep our "Wedding Singer" DVD. In fact, you can have our whole DVD collection. That's fine. Just leave us alone.
Editor's Note: Since this piece was written, Hillary Clinton has invoked the RFK assassination that happened in June 1968, in defense of her decision to remain in the presidential race. Psycho...
